Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's day

Wrote this a few years ago.message is still the same...

Mama loved me pops left me….those are the only lyrics I remember off Jay’s song… 
Today…of all days it seems most appropriate 

Honey I’m pregnant.. 
Talk talk talk… 
Buying pampers..buying the crib…buying baby food 
Visits to the hospital…convulsions… 
Back pain..breast pain..abdominal pain 
Big belly..stretch marks…constant hunger 
Cause feeding two people at once 
Complications at the hospital 
‘he might not make’s gonna be him or his mom’ 
‘then let him live..’she says without hesitation 
Ignoring my dads helpless puppy eyes 
Push push push 
She’s screaming 
I’m kicking in her belly 
I’m screaming too… 
Caesarean it is..cause I’m too big 
I’m too big cause she overfed me… 
She overfed me cause she overloved me….. 
I come out…months later I am outdoored 
And baptized… 
Apple sauce…breast milk…vitamins…the best baby food possible at my disposal 
She cleaned my ass…rocked me to sleep 
And sucked the mucus out of my nose when it was blocked and I couldn’t breathe 
Years on …she took me to school…the best she could find 
At the same time she took me to church..the best she could find 
Then she got me clothes..the best she could afford 
Then she prayed for me day and night 
Like that Kid Cudi track 
Day and night 
She thought for me and about me 
Then when I got big enough to blow my own nose 
Wipe my own ass 
Tie my own shoelaces 
And cook my own food 
I turned around and threw everything she gave me out the window 
I said..’I’m a grown ass man’ 
So easily forgetting that I am not amoeba and did not reproduce myself… 
Arguing with her over the littlest thing 
Picking my friends over her 
Calling her old old hag 

Pause pause pause.. 
It sounds terrible the things I say right?? 
Some of u think I would never do this to my mom 
I gently remind you that there are two different types of sins 
The sin of commission..which is when u blatantly tell her to piss off 
And the sin of omission…when you hear her crying…see the pain in her eyes… 
And then walk away like nothing ever happened 
When Boys 2 men be playing you be singing ‘mommma I love u’ cause u know the words 
…forgetting that love is an ACTION verb..not a passive verb 
Talk is cheap… 
Momma im sorry for everything I ever did… 
I know you only want the best and gave me the best you could 
So many jobs ..chances to kick it with your new men..u turned em all down 
Cause u loved me.. 
Momma I’m sorry 
As of today..everyday is mother’s day 

Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; so that it may go well for you, and that you may have a long life on the earth 

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